Kayla Quote: "I was worried about you." Mordechai told Kayla to text Mike regarding doing something about our 28th wedding anniversary today.
Short Synopsis: Kayla was gotten up and put into a chair for the first time in 23 days! She has been prone in a bed the entire time. It was scary, difficult and painful for her to get to that chair. They cover it with white sheets. A physical therapist helps her out of bed to stand up and move her over. It's a very big process. They put a collar around her neck with oxygen piping in to the hole in her neck. This is all part of learning how to breathe again. Her lungs are on their way and now her body must follow. Her middle is full of pain where the four one inch tubes feed into her heart.
Long Story: In the morning in Ridgefield, I swam 1/2 mile and boy did that feel good. There is nothing like the feeling in your own lungs and breathing after you have done a lot of lap swimming. I lament that "the Kayla" cannot have these same wonderful body feelings that I have. I think of her every time I walk out to the parking lot after my swim. I get into my car. I drive to Stop & Shop and pick out a really nice anniversary card. I buy a single red rose on sale for $2.49. I wriite out a nice sentiment for Mike and leave it on the counter.
Mordechai tells me there are different kinds of rabis. There are the ones that govern the entire synagogue, the ones that assist and then there is the rest of the people. He is the kind of rabi that assists. He has great lessons to teach anyone who will listen.
He told me that I needed to go home and sleep there and see my husband. It is difficult to go home every day as the drive is one hour each way. I often settle for Tarrytown.
"You must go home and be with your husband," he chides.
When I come to the hospital after my swim, I tell Mordechai...
"Ok, I listened to you. I woke up in Tarrytown and I drove home before I came here. I gave my husband a card and a rose but he probably won't do anything for me." It makes me very sad.
I brought Mordechai a piece of whole fruit, a green apple. Kayla loves green apples and our refrigerator drawer is full of them, but right now she cannot eat any of them. I am eating them one by one.
"Here is an apple for you. It is not cut up. No knife has touched it. You can eat it!"
Mordechai inspects it as it sits on his table and he smiles.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am positive. You can have it. I have many in our refrigerator drawer. No one will eat them."
"You don't want it?"
"No, it's for you. You need fruit to be strong. It's for your health."
"Ok, I accept it. Thank you."
It was evening and the waiting room had one very large family, maybe 15 of them, in a long row of chairs, listening to one standing man give a detailed report at the helm. It was intense watching them. Mordechai informs me that this person is dying - there is no chance. I wonder how he gets the details of everyone's lives but he always does. He circulates and integrates and everyone accepts him into their familial folds.
Today was the day that I introduce Mordechai to Kayla. He came with me to visit her in her ICU room. She had already heard a lot about him from many people and she was intrigued to meet him. Ashley, Kayla's best friend, found him mesmerizing as does everyone around here. I told Kayla he was incredibly happy and wonderful to be around. They liked each other immediately.
As Kayla lay in her bed and I stroked her arm, I asked Mordechai how he met his wife, that I had heard they do match making and how did that work? Mordechai was smiling big time. He then wove the most beautiful tale I have heard in a long time.
Yes, they do matchmaking. He said he was shy, that he had no experience with women. He went through high school and on to Israel and then came back. He was now 23. At the university there was a matchmaker, someone trained in this skill. Naomi's parents wanted her to date. She was 18 and ready to find her husband. Her parent's were given a list of 6 eligible young men, but Mordechai was not on that list. Her parents said they knew no one on this list of 6, that they knew none of these families. Then they were given Mordechai's name, a single name.
He was given permission to call her. Naomi was to be in her house waiting for the phone call and she would pick up and they would set up a date to go out to meet and talk. They had a nice conversation on the phone and they set a date night. During the date, they got along very well and liked each other.
After the date, Naomi's parents told the matchmaker, it was off! There would be no more dates! They were concerned because Mordechai was not raised with a father. His mother raised her three sons all by herself and was divorced. They felt that Mordechai would be too attached to his mother and not be able to form a good close relationship with Naomi to form a new family.
Over the next few weeks, Mordechai found every reason why Naomi was not the right one for him. It was true sour grapes after the family rejected him. He was angry and disappointed that her family did not think he was worthy.
Naomi continued to date from a list of young suitors. After several weeks, she had different ideas. She told her parents she wanted Mordechai! She saved them!
They then began to date again and after a short time they were married. They now have five children, 2 boys 18 and 16; a girl 12; and two more boys almost 10 and 6. They are both teachers in a Hebrew school. The union was a good one.
I watched Kayla's expressions on her face. She was fascinated and so was I. This matchmaking was a good thing. In our culture, it is toxic the way young people meet. In fact, it is nearly impossible to meet good suitors. Kayla has dated several young men and been deeply hurt by them. Honestly, I found every one of them completely unworthy of my special daughter with the very big heart and giving spirit. They trampled on her and were selfish.
I suppose most mothers are as protective as I am. We all want someone who cares and is trustworthy and good. This is hard to find now. I cannot understand why. With Kayla's complicated medical problems, it is nearly impossible to find a good suitor for her. She wants someone who cares about her, but sadly, this is a difficult task. My husband and I harvest her beautiful love and are blessed.
Am still hopeful there is a giving young man out there for her....
No comments:
Post a Comment