Today, am going to skip the usual quote scenario and go straight to two texters that moved me:
4/12/11 7:26 a.m. "I had the most amazing dream about Kayla last night!!! You and your mom drove her to my house right when she got out of the hospital...she was so healthy and happy and she slept over and we stayed and talked all night!! Oh, how I can't wait for that day! How is our Kayla?" - Ashley, texting
4/12/11 2:40 p.m. "My bday is tomorrow...it won't be the same without u there celebrating with me like u have every other year. I truly miss u. But if it means anything here's a quote I like and I hope it brings u some strength: "gotta keep your head up, even if the road is hard, never let up."
Ronster, texting
Short Synopsis: She is almost fully off the sedation but at times they put her back down for her comfort and for anxiety. She is waking up and will see basically an artificial heart they have built for her on her stomach. It clicks and whirs and there is sound. There are two see-through cylinders about 4 inches in size where the blood is circulating and there are two tubes on each leading into her body above her stomach. Each of the tubes is designated for support of either her left ventricle or her right ventricle. The device is doing all the work of the beleaguered heart.
She has been lying still for nearly 2 weeks. Her legs muscles are atrophying. There is tremendous bruising on her left neck, covering a big huge area. It is black. There are other patches of bruising all over the body. She is still on the respirator. Many lines of medicines still feed into her right neck where there is a central line. Her hair has not been washed - too much risk of infection. Her finger nails and toe nails still look good though with her favorite pink polish. The monitor reads out many numbers, all important in the scheme of things - heart rate, breathing rate, oxygen saturation, blood pressure (one number again), central venous pressure, etc...
The Hudson River is beautiful. The George Washington Bridge beckons and glistens with sparkles of silver reflecting off of it. The trainers are in the park, training young shepherds. Barges are in a melancholy dance slowly moving up river. Kayla would love this scene. She loves the river.
It's a watch and wait for today. She is not doing well on the respiration test. She cannot breathe on her own. She can hardly open her eyes.
The Long Story: I am uneasy. When I see her, she is restless. She is moving now that the sedation is off but she is not interacting. She looks brain dead.
"What is going on with her brain?" I ask. Everyone is careful with what they tell me, which is next to nothing. The nurse is quiet and solemn. I am beginning to think the last surgery was one too many. I am afraid and ask for a doctor.
The physician's assistant comes to speak to me but he is hardly comforting. She's been through a lot. She needs a lot of narcotics, more than you or I could ever handle. They are not sure about her brain yet. One has to be patient and wait.
Kayla is moving her arms and legs and thrashing. They tie her by her wrists to the bed rails. She continuously tries to get comfortable. Twice nurses come to re-situate her up in the bed as she works her way down. She has already tried to tear out the respirator, a common thing for anyone to do. The big tube down her throat is irritating and it's blocking her breathing.
They give her a respiration test to see if they can extubate her and get her off the respirator and breathing on her own. She has to follow simple commands and she cannot. All she can do is stare out and thrash a little. She does not squeeze your hand. She does not understand.
To get off, she has to breathe deeply, when asked to. She has to cough. She does not. They take out the tube but she is too anxious and turns blue. They put it back in. Failure today.
I am horrified. I keep asking everyone. What about her brain?
The physician goes to the bedside and gets her to move one foot. She then weakly squeezes the hand but it is not that purposeful. He insists that "she is in there. Her brain is probably ok."
I go home scared. I bring poor Mike down. I tell him I don't really know what is going on.
I take my mind off by figuring out what to do with the coyotes. They have to go somehow. Killing them is brutal. I think of having friends come over with dogs. Mike says why not put a hose in the den and fill it with water. That ought to chase them out. The environmental expert says to put in a radio. They hate human noise. You could put it in the shed and just play it all day and all night. Mike is game. He wants to take an extension cord, plug it into the garage and feed it across the lawn, and set it up.
I call Steve and get permission. Later on, I speak to him again and he says Alice thinks that they should be left alone. They will grow and leave soon. What next?
They are FOXES!!! Now that's a completely different story! Red foxes at that. The picture tells it all. A beautiful red fox mother and her cubs romping in the yard.
No problem! Foxes won't hurt our cats. They are small, around 10-13 pounds, the same size as our cats. They usually don't predate cats and they are basically nocturnal. Mother fox feeds on small rodents and forages for bits of food and berries, insects, etc...
Ok, back to plan A - lock the cats in at night.
Ummm.....don't anyone tell "the Kayla....."
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