Kayla Quote: "I'm so happy to have my whole family here together seeing Kayla." - Stephanie, in the hospital as Mike, Thomas and she visit Kayla at her bedside on Easter Sunday
Short Synopsis: Kayla continues to amaze everyone. She is in the most horrific pain most of the time. The EKG lady came by with the cart and Kayla begged her to come back and do it later. Then one of the unit doctors came in and asked, "Are you refusing medical treatment? You cannot do this." This made me angry. "No, she's in pain. She's not refusing treatment. She's in too much pain. They just gave her some pain medication. Why don't you wait 20-25 minutes and come back? She can do it then." It all turned out well. The EKG lady was still in the unit and was able to swing back around and test Kayla. Kayla is getting percocet and ativan to manage her pain and anxiety today.
I comb her hair, hold her hand and pet her forehead. All of these things calm her down. They put her in her breathing collar again and her breathing was 55 shallow puffs per minute. The nurse came in and scolded her, "You should be breathing 10 times a minute." And then she left in a huff. This was false information. I went to CNA school and remember learning that 12-20 times a minute is normal, up to 30 is still ok. More and it's too fast and shallow.
I held Kayla's hand and told her she could do it....breathe slowly and smoothly. We took long, slow breaths together. In less than a minute, she cut her breathing in half. ...she was at 25. Good job!
Long Story: We have become good friends with Ross and Walter, who got a heart valve surgery. Ross is from Australia and he is in public relations. They live in the city. I told Ross to bring us some wine for the following day a few days ago. This was after Mordechai offered everyone a small cup from a bright blue bottle of the most God awful wine. We all laughed at how bad it tasted, like poison. I told Ross to bring us a better bottle of wine and he did. We enjoyed that the other day. Then Mordechai got a really good bottle from his cousin at the other side of the bridge. We were looking forward to sharing some of that. Ross enjoyed opening bottles and letting them breathe. Mordechai has to have his wine at a certain time and we only get a small bit after his rituals are finished. Yes, he gets about four little cups compared to our one small cup. Who is counting cups? We are!
We talked about how nice it is to have wine in glass wine glasses but here it is the coffee cup that is king. We are humbled by how little we need to enjoy our wine. We raise our cups and wish for good health for our relatives in the ICU. We wish for one more day of life for them.
When I arrive at the hospital in the early morning, I am happy to tell Mordechai that I received the most incredible text from my husband. He did notice the card and he responded. Mordechai has a sly look and then he begins to laugh. He tells me that when he visited Kayla in the unit, when I was not there, he tells her to text her father and remind him to do something. The message was the most profound one I have ever received from Mike. I was taken aback.
Today Mordechai and I walked across the bridge. First, you walk up Fort Washington Ave. up to 177th Street, where there is a walker's entrance up to the bridge. More bicyclers access this pathway than anyone else.
It is late morning and Mordechai wants to walk across and get a special memorial candle to bring back to light for his deceased relative, his father. He invites me along. I have no good shoes so my feet will get sore. It is summery hot and I am overdressed, but nothing compares to what he is wearing - the long black pants, the black shoes, white long-sleeved buttoned shirt, black yamaca on his head. It is at least 80 degrees and the air is very still.
The George Washington Bridge is venerable. It is 4,760 feet long. It has the most vehicular traffic crossings in the whole world. There are 106 millions crossings documented in a year, beginning in 2007. The upper level was built and dedicated on 10/24/31, 79 years ago. This deck was built during the depression. The lower level was constructed 48 years ago and dedicated on 8/29/62. Daily traffic is counted at 289,329 crossings. It's the world's only 14 lane suspension bridge with 8 lanes in the upper deck and 6 lanes in the lower one. According to many, it is the most beautiful bridge in the world with its cables and steel beams. It is painted aluminum. For me, it symbolizes a rare grace and serenity in a constantly moving city. It looks like its spires reach up to God. And I am in a desperate need for a God right now.
This bridge is even more important to the Trolle clan. This is where donated hearts travel across to the hospital for implantation. Kayla's first heart came out of a trauma center in Buffalo, N.Y. It was harvested and flown by Leer Jet to Teterboro Airport on June 20, 1999, in an igloo cooler. It was then put into an ambulance and driven across the beloved bridge. At the end of the bridge is the hospital. It's no wonder I have a love affair with this bridge.
Mordechai and I set across the bridge. He is embarrassed as he is not supposed to be seen with a Gentile woman. I told him, "That's ridiculous. We are just friends." At the same time, I am respectful of his deep feelings for the laws of his religion. I pretend I am not with him a lot of the time. All I think about is how wonderful the air and view are. You can see the entire sky line of New York City. The water is shimmering brightly. It is hot and we have no water. My feet are hurting me.
When we get to the New Jersey side, Mordechai says his cousin has asked him to walk another ten minutes north. I stop at a park and will sit on a bench to wait and rest. The sun is getting to me and this bench is out in the heat. I never even sit. I continue on north on Hudson Terrace in Fort Lee and watch as Mordechai disappears in the distance. I am once again near my childhood apartment but I don't go look. My feet hurt too much and I am thirsty.
There is a bike shop and I am envious of the machine that dispenses frosty drinks. I have no money with me. I find a nice cool patch of green grass under some trees and sit to rest. Then I head back. I can wait no longer. I have to get ready to go to our Easter dinner in Tarrytown. Twenty-two family members are coming for our feast. I have already made a large fruit salad and it's cooling in the Tarrytown refrigerator.
Earlier, I had brought two containers of my special fruit salad, one for Mortechai and one for Ross and Walter. It's Easter and I like to share. I tell Mortechai that his salad is made from all fresh fruits and nothing with corn syrup or from a can. The other portion has some canned fruits. I think he can accept it but he says he cannot eat it. It was not prepared in the kosher way. He does put both containers up in the kosher kitchen to store them for me and Ross, after I tell him I need refrigeration for it to keep at its best.
Mordechai shares his special single brewed coffee with others. He has given me a cup which I decide to make hotter in the microwave oven in the waiting room. I put it at 2 minutes, which is standard for my home microwave. Only this one is powerful and the coffee explodes. I am lucky as about a third of the tasty drink was saved. There are no paper towels anywhere to clean up the oven, even as one reads the sign "clean up after yourself." I reach into the garbage to retrieve sparsely used clumps of paper towels. When you have no other way, you learn how to be resourceful in the strangest ways. I wish I had clean towels or a clean sponge.
Anyway....I am walking back to start across the bridge and along comes Mordechai and his cousin in an air-conditioned car. They pick me up and he was worried. I was not at the park bench and he felt responsible for me.
"Oh no, " I tell him, "I had no more time. I would have left a note for you on your chair. I felt bad but too much time had gone by."
I tell his cousin that I am going to a big meal at my family's home in Tarrytown. Mordechai turns around and give me a warning glance and a quick, "Shh..."
We go to a grocery store where he purchases a memorial candle and some frosty waters! I am waiting in the car with his cousin and I am very careful about what I tell him. Orthodox Jews are not supposed to socialize with too many people outside their religious circle.
We are back on the bridge walking across again. We have water to drink. I ask him why he gave me a warning glance.
"I didn't want you to tell my cousin you were going to an Easter meal."
"Oh, that I knew."
I continue to ask Mordechai all about his life, his religion. I ask him what the strings mean, the ones that hang out of his pants pockets. He says he thought they were tucked inside but they come out. They are reminders of all of the commandments, 608 of them, plus there are 7 more that are the most important commandments. I ask if he is allowed to wear shorts and t-shirt to exercise, or does he always have to wear his uniform. He says he does wear exercise clothes. He even wears a baseball cap sometimes. On the bridge though, the wind threatens to blow off his yamaca all the time. He has to hold it with his hand on his head.
We pass many small groups of families strolling the bridge. There are groups of Jews that are dressed just like him. They have a greeting as they pass - it is in a different language - Yiddish, most likely.
I get ready for Easter in my special clothes. I dress in the bathroom at the hospital and wash up in the sink. It is all I have. I drive up to the special supper. Every year, Debbie, Paul's wife, makes the most beautiful deserts. This year she made an entire tray of chocolate covered strawberries. My sister Valerie and I work with Ryan, her son, on voice overs. He is making an animated cartoon and he needs our voices for the film. I miss the Easter egg hunt but there are only three little ones left for this hunt. Thomas and Russell hide the candy filled eggs in the yard. It was not that long ago when they were the scramblers! Now they are grown.
After our mid-day meal, Mike heads down in his car to see Kayla. Thomas, Deirdre - my sister and I head down in my car. Thomas has not seen Kayla for an entire month. When he finally walks into the ICU to see Kayla, he is not greeted by her at all. She is in too much pain. They have just put her into the chair for her daily sitting and she is in too much pain to even notice her brother.
I felt badly that he did not get good time with her. He sees her at her lowest point but he didn't care, he said. He was happy to see her and he will be back!
Mordechai was pleased to meet Thomas and Deirdre. He tells Thomas that he is a good, honest mechanic. I told him the story of when Thomas quit his mechanic's job because his boss was commiting fraud. The boss instructed Thomas to reach into the engine and pretend he was doing something. The boss knew the man needed to go to Honda where they have special machines that diagnose this particular problem. Instead of sending him on, he charged $100 and there was no fix. At that moment, Thomas walked out. He was quite upset in our driveway and heading back up there to retrieve his large tool chest before anyone stole his tools. He was standing with Mike and when he told me what happened, I said to him, "I'm proud of you Thomas. You have good morals, only one thing....now you have no job!"
Mordechai was pleased to meet the entire family. I told them he was a special rabbi. I said he was great to consult.
"He even saves marriages...!"
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